Beyond the ordinary

I was first diagnosed with schizophrenia in 1979, during my first A Level year at school. In those days, “schizophrenia” was a term which applied to a wide variety of mental illnesses and carried a huge stigma. At school, because other boys did not understand my erratic behaviour, they labelled me, “psycho” because it was easier and quicker to tarnish me with this brush than to try to understand me.

More recently (in the last 30 years) the term bipolar is more relevant. There are a number of bipolar diagnoses: Type 1 and 2 and cyclothymic. These days, when I say I have bipolar to anyone, they are definitely less judgemental.
Since then, I have had a total of 5 further acute periods where mania was the biggest factor in my condition. I received Cognative Behavioural Therapy (CBT) from 1996 to 1998. Professor Richard Bentall, my psychologist, addressed the paranoia with some simple exercises, for example a “thought record” where I had to rationalise away fearful thoughts through reasoning with common sense or my intellect. This made a huge impact on my recovery and catapulted me into a long spell of good health.

I have been administered medication since I was sixteen.  I have been admitted a total of 7 times for up to 3 months at a time and 5 times in my local psychiatric hospital. My last episode was in 2022 when I was an inpatient where I felt in my opinion that I was mistreated and abused mentally by the staff. I stayed there for 3 months and exited no better than when I went in. I recovered elsewhere on discharge.

I have experienced good times as well as the bad times. I qualified as a teacher, taking my PGCE in 1993 and travelled and taught in Kenya for a while. I also served in the galley on a cruise ship in Senegal for a number of months. I returned to UK to take up teaching posts in primary schools. In 2008 I took up a job in sales becoming self – employed and was successful at it. These achievements have been accomplished through addressing my weaknesses, psychologically, and putting them right which has led to a huge feeling of self - worthiness and personal satisfaction. I am now training to become a therapeutic counsellor. This is something I defintely feel called to do and in the words of Sir Ken Robinson, “have found my element.” I am naturally drawn to counselling because having overcome my own demons, I am now in a position where helping others to overcome theirs is a natural, helpful and progressive step forward.

I also attend a local church where I receive support and fellowship during the week as well as on Sundays. I have a large network of friends and 2 surviving brothers who live further away, who show interest in my progress.    Whilst still relatively young I have life goals.
I have recently been challenged by joining LinkedIn and promoting my autobiography, “Despite It All: Overcoming Bipolar.” I wrote this last year and have a number of launches and book signing events lined up already. It is a book which outlines my journey travelling through life with bipolar, the highs and lows and everything in between.     

 

The biggest stresses are managing the condition, ensuring I get enough sleep at night (I generally need 10 hours each night), taking medication, and making sure I don't get over stretched or over stressed. If this happens, I take a step back from one or two commitments for a short while as I recover, get enough rest, recharge and return. I also seek the right wise advice of a good friend or 2 who have also suffered with this type of condition. I know a few! I think having friends who have travelled along the same path as I have and a few others who may not have but understand me is of vital importance on my journey. It is without doubt essential to be able to share and discuss openly without the fear of condemnation or rejection, the inner “man” and to be able to come to terms with everyday pitfalls and barriers to progress.

Rethink Mental Illness are a fantastic charity to approach for help and advice. They have helped me at certain critical times in my life where they have “been there” for me to refer to when I have been low or confused, through their dedicated help. I would recommend them to anyone who is experiencing difficulties for themselves or anyone they know. If you are experiencing bipolar for the first time, please don’t give up on yourself. Or if you are helping someone go through it for the first time, there is help at hand. Like other illnesses, mental or physical, the earlier intervention or treatment (perhaps with medication if necessary) is embarked upon, the more likely the outcome will be successful. Rethink Mental Illness are one such destination to turn to who can offer advice and practical support to sufferers and where “signposting” to additional services can be undertaken.